Changing Lanes: Navigating Life’s Transitions
How would you feel if everything in your life stayed the same? Would you feel safe and comfortable? Or perhaps you would feel trapped and anxious. The one constant of life is that it’s constantly changing. When transitions happen, whether they are big or small shifts in our life patterns, change can be jarring. Whether it’s starting a new job, moving houses, ending a relationship, becoming a parent, experiencing a change in health status, or finishing high school, change has the ability to affect our mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. How each of us feel and respond to change is unique, and is based on a few different factors. Understanding the impact of change, and how we might respond to it, can help us navigate these transitions more effectively and emerge stronger on the other side.
The Nature of Change
How do we respond to change? If we consider the nature of life changes, we can categorize them as being either positive (things we want to happen) or negative (things we wish wouldn’t happen), and either anticipated (things we expect to change), or unanticipated (sudden and unexpected changes). Events that happen within each of these categories can impact us in various ways. Given these categories, it may seem obvious how we could expect to react to life changes: to most, positive and anticipated change might seem the most easily accepted form of change, and negative and unanticipated change might seem the most unattractive. This is generally true, and it has to do with how our brains work (our brains are designed to keep us safe, and the easiest way to do that is when we know what’s coming and when). However, this isn’t always the case. How we respond to change can also depend on factors such as past experiences, personal values, and even what we believe about our own ability to adapt to change.
Common Responses to Change
Anxiety and Stress: Change (especially unexpected change) has the ability to disrupt our sense of control, which can trigger stress and anxiety. Our brains respond to uncertainty by triggering our sympathetic nervous system to activate our “fight, flight, or freeze” response, which can lead to feelings usually associated with anxiety. We may also fear the impact that the change will have on our lives, leading to feelings of stress.
Excitement and Relief: We can also respond to change with positive emotions. If we expect positive outcomes from the change, we may feel glad that the change is occurring. If an unfortunate circumstance shifts to a better situation, we may feel relief about the change.
Grief and Loss: Change can also evoke a sense of loss. Often, life transitions mean leaving something familiar behind. Even changes that seem positive can lead to a process of grieving as we move on to something new from what we are used to. For example, graduating from college can mean new opportunities to advance a career, but it also could mean leaving behind certain friendships or daily patterns that felt comfortable. Grief also often shows up when there is an unexpected and negative change, such as a difficult health diagnosis. In this case, we have to suddenly change our expectations and perhaps grieve certain hopes we had for the future. This can be particularly difficult to navigate.
Identity Confusion: Sometimes, significant changes can result in a shift in our self-perception, and a sense of confusion about who we are. For example, the transition from being single to being married could involve re-evaluating our roles and how we fit into our world. This shift in a sense of identity can be empowering, and also unsettling as we navigate unfamiliar territory.
As you can see, sometimes our responses to change aren’t clear cut, and we can experience multiple emotions at the same time. What some might believe is a positive, anticipated change (such as moving from a small home to a large spacious house) could elicit feelings of excitement, fear, AND grief, depending on that person’s experiences, values and beliefs, and expectations.
Navigating Change
So how do we cope with the complexities of change? Here are a few tips that can help us navigate life transitions and changes in effective ways.
Seek social support. Connecting with others can be quite helpful when navigating life’s changes. Sharing our experiences with friends or family members can provide comfort and perhaps some perspective, because although our response to change is an individualized experience, the good news is that EVERYONE has experienced it. It helps not to feel alone. Joining a support group or community related to the change you’re going through can also help foster a sense of belonging and shared understanding.
Establish routines. Change often involves many things that are outside of our control. When we are in such a situation, it can be helpful to ask yourself “what can I control?” We often have more power than it seems. Creating a routine is one way to take back control and provide a sense of stability. A routine can be as simple as getting regular exercise, developing a consistent sleep schedule, or maintaining a fun hobby. These habits can be an anchor during turbulent transitions.
Practice being present. This means trying our best to think about what is happening in the now. Practicing strategies such as meditation, deep breathing, and other mindful techniques can help keep us grounded in the present moment. This helps us move through changes and transitions one step at a time. Being mindful also means allowing the emotions we feel to exist as they are, without judging or trying to change them. This can be helpful in moving us towards accepting the changes as they come and being able to learn from our experiences, even when they are difficult.
While life change is inevitable, it also presents us with an opportunity for personal growth. By understanding the possible impact of change and knowing helpful ways to cope, we can more easily navigate these transitions. Embrace the ride, stay connected, and more importantly, trust in your own ability to adapt to change and thrive.
About The Author:
Cassia Tayler, Registered Provisional Psychologist
Cassia enjoys the great outdoors, creativity, the fine arts, music, and working with teens, individuals and couples in identifying barriers to wellness and creating lasting positive change.
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