How to Have an Emotionally Safe Holiday Season
The holiday season is upon us. The parties and events, the secret santa’s, the dinners, the scheduling, the travel, the insanely busy shopping malls, and…the family get-togethers. While this may be exciting for some, it could trigger feelings of anxiety and dread in others. For some, the holidays are a painful reminder that you don’t have the community around you that you wish you had.
We live in a society that has created an immense amount of pressure around holiday seasons to ‘get it right,’ actually, to ‘get it perfect.’ We are flooded with images of happy family meals, people glowing about the present they just opened, and of course the Hallmark romance. This is often far from our real-life experience. So the question is, how do we not just ‘survive’ the holidays, but enjoy them?
Where is the magic?
When we get that cringy feeling thinking about the holidays, it is often because the holidays have not been an emotionally safe place for us. It’s the time of year when we are at the same table as people we have broken relationships with, when expectations clash, and when feelings of disappointment can outweigh feelings of contentment. Oftentimes, this all results from a lack of appropriate boundary setting, and a focus on appearance rather than reality.
An Emotionally Safe Holiday Season
So how do we not just get through, but enjoy the holidays? Here are some tips!
1) Boundaries! Setting appropriate boundaries (i.e. giving your needs a voice) is key to holiday success. This may mean that traditions, schedules, expectations and travel plans may need to be adjusted to allow for a healthier experience. In order to be effective, boundaries need to be communicated clearly, ahead of time, and with a realistic plan of action. If this is something you need support with, then please don’t hesitate to reach out to us here.
2) Expectations. Let this be an invitation to consider not what others expect of you, but what you expect of yourself over the holidays. Are they reasonable, manageable, achievable, and necessary? Or do they have more of a “I’m going to get this perfect” type of feel? Remember that the expectations we have of ourselves, often outweigh the expectations others have of us.
3) Meaning. Most of us have heard the advice to “remember the meaning of the season,” but how many of us have reflected on what that looks like practically speaking? The holidays can mean many things to many people, but regardless of what you celebrate, how does your celebration reflect what is most important? Perhaps a better question is, does it? This holiday season, try writing down the values behind what you choose to celebrate, and reflect on whether your values and actions/celebrations align with one another.
About The Author:
Chanae Smith, Registered Psychologist
-Chanae is a wife, a mother, and a Registered Psychologist that enjoys traveling, eating good food, learning, and playing. Chanae works with children and adults to form healthier relationships within the context of their homes, schools, personal relationships and even in the wider society.
To find out more about the services Chanae offers, please click on the 'Team’ link below: