Embracing Endings and Welcoming Beginnings
Embracing Endings: Reflecting on the End of the Year with Intention
As the end of the year approaches, it’s natural for us to reflect on the journey we’ve taken over the past twelve months. This time of year can feel like a frenzy of activity – holiday preparations, seeing friends and family, preparing for the New Year - but this time of year can also provide us with an opportunity to pause, take a breath, and contemplate the highs and lows and the experiences that have shaped us.
For many, this time of year can be emotionally difficult. The holidays and approaching New Year can be a glaring reminder of all that we haven’t accomplished, goals we haven’t reached, losses we’ve endured…the list could go on. It can be tempting to stay in this space of regret and disappointment; we’re often hardest on ourselves. However, intentional reflection during this time of year can make room for acknowledging the hard things, appreciating lessons learned, celebrating growth, and setting our sights on possibilities ahead.
So how do we reflect on the past year with intention?
One way is to embrace gratitude for the journey. For most of us, our lives are made up of both trials and triumphs, and these experiences shape us in ways that are sometimes hard to notice. This season, take a moment to think about possible moments of growth. What have you learned from your experiences this year? What strengths have you gained? Perhaps there’s been a challenging change in your life circumstances – what positive personality characteristics have stayed the same? Or perhaps you feel that nothing in your life has changed – but what skills, qualities, or interests have shifted and evolved? Reflecting on obstacles faced, lessons learned, and moments of growth allows us to close out the year with a stronger sense of fulfillment and greater life satisfaction.
Another way to reflect with intention is to notice and celebrate your successes – big and small. This can feel foreign to some, because we often look at the things we’ve accomplished through the lens of comparison and self-judgment. There is no set external standard that evaluates whether an accomplishment is worth celebrating – it’s up to you. Celebrating success can mean feeling good about achieving big goals, but it can also look like acknowledging the little moments when you made it through a challenging day, did something nice for someone else, reached out to a new friend, or cooked a nourishing meal. No matter how minor these things seem, creating a list of accomplishments can be a great reminder of what you’re capable of, and the many ways in which you’ve made a positive impact on your own life and the lives of others.
Welcoming Beginnings: New Year’s Resolutions that Will Really Work
Reflecting on the previous year naturally drives us to think about the year ahead. What do I want to do more of? What do I want to look different? What new things do I want to see happen? Where do I begin?
New Year's resolutions vary from person to person, and oftentimes they are aimed at the betterment of oneself. Some of the most common resolutions include things like:
Health and Fitness: a desire to achieve a healthier weight, eat more home-cooked or whole foods, develop a certain body type, or just to increase physical activity. This can include psychological health as well with the goal of reducing things like anxiety or depression, or finding healthy ways to cope with stress
Sleep: this one is pretty self explanatory, but many of us both need and desire more Zzz’s at bedtime which means either going to bed earlier or achieving a more restful sleep
Advancement in Career or Education: for some, getting to the next level in their career or pursuing higher education is the ultimate goal of their new year. Doing so often gives us a sense of achievement and pride in ourselves
Financial Progress: this may mean saving more and spending less, reducing or eliminating debt, or making more cash…or all of the above! Getting on top of our finances can certainly help relieve stress and give us a sense of control over our lives
Less of Me and More of You - New Resolutions for the New Year
If one or more of these align with your current goals for the upcoming year, we think that’s great. These are important factors in being a whole and healthy self, which helps us to be in relationship with others more healthily. While there is certainly nothing wrong with these resolutions, they often lead us to become more hyper-focused on ourselves. These so-called “self-improvement” goals require us to spend an increasing amount of time thinking about our personal wellness, our individual identity, our own pursuits, dreams and desires. What’s so wrong with that? Well, when we become overly focused on our ourselves, we might begin to notice that we actually aren’t as satisfied as we thought we would be in reaching our goals. We might also find, it is actually more difficult to reach these goals. How come? We need COMMUNITY.
So let us leave you with another consideration. Along with developing self-improvement goals, what if we decided to put a little more focus on those around us? Our neighbors, our friends, our family, our community, our co-workers, or even those we pass by on the street. What if our New Year’s resolutions had less to do with us, and more to do with others? This might mean committing to helping a neighbor build a fence (which also helps you get exercise), or surprising friends with a care package when they are sick (which also targets health), or helping a colleague with something they are struggling with (which could help you stand out - you may just get that promotion after all!), or taking a family member out for a nice meal (which could help you budget better), or calling someone you know who is lonely instead of turning on Netflix (avoiding screen time before bed can help with sleep).
When we become more outwardly focused, we actually benefit from it as well. We experience more gratitude, more fulfillment, and oftentimes, more success in our goals because we aren’t motivated by just ourselves anymore; we are motivated by the reciprocal relationship we develop with those around us. Both research and history have demonstrated the many ways we benefit from becoming selfless in our motives and actions - including increased satisfaction, reduced stress and improved psychological health. So this New Year, let’s consider those around us. Let’s be the best we can be, for ourselves and others.
About The Authors:
Cassia Tayler, Registered Provisional Psychologist
-Cassia enjoys the great outdoors, creativity, the fine arts, music, and working with teens, individuals and couples in identifying barriers to wellness and creating lasting positive change.
Chanae Smith, Registered Psychologist
-Chanae is a wife, a mother, and a Registered Psychologist that enjoys traveling, eating good food, learning, and playing. Chanae works with children and adults to form healthier relationships within the context of their homes, schools, personal relationships and even in the wider society.
To find out more about the services Cassia and Chanae offer, please click on the 'Team’ link below: